By Grace Hwang Lynch
Parental-Advice Gems in Fractured English: LOL!
When you hear the phrase “Chinese mother,” what comes to mind? Images of a birthday-card-shredding dominatrix demanding perfection from her children?
My Mom Is a Fob, released within days of Amy Chua’s Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, sheds light on a different kind of Asian American matriarch. Compiled by Serena Wu and Teresa Wu, two Taiwanese Americans who are barely older than Chua’s daughters, the book is a collection of anecdotes submitted by readers of their blog of the same name: My Mom Is a Fob.
The term fob—fresh off the boat—is used fondly by these writers. Lest some readers call foul (especially if they’re overly PC non-Asian readers), know that the F-word is used by young Asian Americans in the way that some African Americans have co-opted the N-word.
Consider this recent excerpt from the blog, under the title “Facebook Nudity”:
Mom: Don’t post any pictures at all people can do stupid stuff with it.
Me: Stupid stuff?? like what??
Mom: They can make you naked.
Me: Make me naked??
Mom: Yeah, they can delete your clothes.
Me: Uhh…I’m not sure that’s possible.
Mom: IT IS!
The book even includes a forward from the queen of Asian American comedy, Margaret Cho, who writes:
I think if you are Asian American, making fun of your mom being a fob is a rite of passage, a way to separate yourself from your family.
The contributors to My Mom Is a Fob (mostly college students and young adults) are still plenty connected to their mothers, thanks to the wonders of modern technology—some of which their immigrant parents have even learned to use. The anecdotes come mostly from emails and text messages in broken English.
Like Amy Chua, these mothers are insistent that their offspring study, practice piano, and maintain their weight. But their exhortations come across much differently than Chua’s:
You looks very, very fat especial your arm and leg… Trust me. I am you mother I always tell you truth. You need do some excise expecial for your arm and leg.
Most of all, My Mom Is a Fob pokes fun at clueless comments from first-generation Asian mothers—the blog’s subtitle is “Best Humorous, Adorable, and Loving Messages from Your Fobby Mom”—and this is what makes it such a kick for those of us who can relate.
“Is ‘funk’ means sexy?” asks one mom, while another notes:
I asked for the doggy-style fries, but I think they ran out because they just started laughing.
Yes, the humor can be sophomoric at times—remember, these anecdotes have mainly been submitted by college students. On the surface, it looks like the authors of My Mom Is a Fob are committing the ultimate breach of Confucian filial piety—unwavering respect for the elders—by laughing at these moms’ broken English, overprotectiveness, and unfamiliarity with American mores.
However, the underlying message is that their harsh and sometimes misguided advice is dispensed with good intentions. As Serena Wu and Teresa Wu write:
Regardless of their no-holds-barred criticism of our thunder thighs, their inability to understand why we just can’t date their church friend’s electrical engineering computer science IBM-bound son, and their insistence on wearing plastic welder hats in public, we love our fobby moms—and unconditionally so. It’s because of—or perhaps in spite of—everything they say and do that we have a sneaking suspicion that maybe, just maybe… they love us right back.
Publishing Information:
- My Mom Is a Fob by Serena Wu and Teresa Wu (Perigee Trade, 2011)
Grace Hwang Lynch blogs about Asian mixed-race families at HapaMama.com. She also is the editor of the Race and Ethnicity section of BlogHer.com.
Grace takes a more extensive look at the Asian American mother-daughter relationship in her TW review Beyond the Tiger Mother.
